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LIVING proof that religion is apt to destroy all forms of clear thinking surrounds us in depressing abundance. But Iftikhar Ahmad, head honcho over at the London School of Islamics is in a class of his own when it comes to dogged stupidity.

Bearded barmpot Iftikhar Ahmad
Bearded barmpot Iftikhar Ahmad
For years, it seems, Ahmad has been pumping out press releases, all on the same subject: the need for Muslim schoolchildren to be educated in Muslim schools by Muslim teachers.
This, according to his cock-eyed reasoning, will lead to better integration of Muslims into British society.
I have long since given up on replying to Ahmad’s idiotic emails; the man is clearly as thick as a brick.
But atheist Robert Stovold, of the Brighton & Hove Humanist Society, clearly has more patience than I do, and today responded to Ahmad’s latest bit of rehashed twaddle.
I found Stovold’s reply so entertaining that I decided I simply had to share it with readers.
Ahmad asserts:

The miracle of human variety is in danger of disappearing, if all of us speak alike, dressed alike, ate the same food, read the same fiction and enjoy the same music.


Yes, Iftikhar, I quite agree. Such a wonderful variety of cultures. Such as wonderful variety of religions too! You at the London School of (what was it? Ah yes, Islamics) would really hate to see that number dwindle to just one, now wouldn’t you?
Granted, I’m an atheist, and would like it if people freely chose to reject all religions. But at least I’m honest enough to admit it up front, and don’t cloak my true beliefs under a phoney respect for ‘variety’.
Remind me again, which is the only language in which one is meant to read the Quran? If you, as a British Muslim, were forced to choose between knowing only English and knowing only Arabic, which language would you choose, and why?

Further in his release, Ahmad states:

The ability to speak languages from Arabic to Urdu is considered to be an asset … Monolingualism leads to isolationist and inward thinking.


Erm, no – I think you’ll find that separating children according to the religion of their parents and telling them that believers of all other faiths and none will burn in hell leads to isolation and inward thinking. This from your website.


State funded Muslim schools need Muslim teachers.


Why does a teacher’s religion matter when it comes to mathematics, chemistry or geography? Surely all schools should employ the best teachers they can get irrespective of religion? You don’t even think that people should be taught about other religions in Muslim schools, do you, Iftikhar? This from your website: ‘The study of Comparative religions is not required because Islam teaches respect, tolerance and understanding of those who are different from them.
Yeah right. The Muslim world right now is just dripping with respect and tolerance, isn’t it? Danish cartoons, anyone?
You also say ‘There is no place for a non-Muslim teacher or a child in a Muslim school’. Ah yes, very tolerant. That’ll really help with integration.

Ahmad also once asserted:

Darwin, Richard Dawkins and James Watson are the product of Western education which makes a man/woman stupid. If they have been educated according to the teachings of the Holy Quran or if they have the time to study the Holy Quran, I am sure that they would have changed their attitudes and opinions.


Western education makes people stupid? Again, very tolerant and respectful! Islamic science lessons will be interesting in your schools, Iftikhar.
You speak of a need to ‘protect our children’s morals and values from a growing agenda to impose liberal values upon them’.
Ah, again this tells us how much you really respect other values! Do you respect gays and lesbians, Iftikhar?
There is one page on your website that I agree with. It’s a poll asking ‘Should we have more faith schools?’
Yes 40.7%, No 59.3%
And the vast majority of visitors to your site are probably Muslims …
As Robert Ingersoll stated, ‘The common school is the bread of life, but there should be nothing taught except what somebody knows; and anything else should not be maintained by a system of general taxation. I want its professors so that they will tell everything they find; that they will be free to investigate in every direction, and will not be trammelled by the superstitions of our day. What has religion to do with facts? Nothing. Is there any such thing as Methodist mathematics, Presbyterian botany, Catholic astronomy or Baptist biology?’
Peace Be Upon You, and I await another of your unsolicited but unintentionally amusing emails.

Note: Ahmad is even considered a clown by some Muslims. An article of his published on the Wonders of Pakistan blog entitled Muslim Children and Sex Education drew several sharp rebukes, including this one:

Iftikhar is a pain in the butt – he regularly spams sites with his drivel then is never seen again to answer replies until the next time he pontificates uselessly and boringly.
‘Bilingual Muslim children need state funded Muslim schools with bilingual Muslim teachers as role models during their developmental periods.’ – Why? Neither Germany nor any of the other countries he rails about are Muslim countries. He should get over himself.