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Let’s say you and your partner are thinking about your future babies.

Neither of you are religious and you don’t care about baptism. It’s just some irrelevant ritual.

But you figure both your parents would want a child to get baptised.

What do you do?

Reader Ray doesn’t mind letting the parents just go ahead with it:

My feeling is that, because the ceremony has no meaning to anyone outside of that faith and the child certainly doesn’t know what’s going on, then what’s the harm of letting our parents, the baby’s grandparents, have their baptism? It doesn’t change the baby and it certainly doesn’t affect or hurt anyone in the least bit. The child grows up not even remembering the day, and the people we care about that feel it is a necessary ceremony will have their rest-easy feeling. My fiance’ and I just won’t be a part of that day. Our parents, if they want to have a baptism, can plan it and arrange it and take the baby to church and get them dipped. We won’t be a part of it, but no harm in letting them do it, and why create an unnecessary fight or make any one upset over a sink of water?

His fiancée doesn’t agree. She says they “shouldn’t allow it to happen in any situation.”

What’s the compromise? Is there one?

We’re both unsure as to what to do. Both points valid and, I’m sure, arguable by anyone. Her main point being that, we’re The Parents and we should raise our children the way we want to. I can completely see the point and we just don’t know what to do when that time comes.

I’d side with the fiancée here. If you don’t want it, don’t have it.

If you let the grandparents get their way with the baptism, they’ll want their way with other parts of the child’s religious upbringing. What’s to stop them from preaching to the child about God and Jesus? From teaching them to pray? From reading the Bible to them?

All are (relatively) harmless and the child probably won’t remember anything from the first couple years of life, but my point is it’s much easier to take a stand up front rather than letting the seemingly small things build up.