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Call me Fishmael.

Fifteen year old Barry Damon is converting to whatever religion his soon-to-be girlfriend Marilyn Shaw is.  Barry told reporters that his Southern Baptist faith is secondary to “the deep personal connection” he has to the girl he sits next to in Algebra class. Even though he hasn’t talked to Marilyn, the bass fishing enthusiast can discern from the sidelong glances she gives him that there is a deep connection between their two respective souls. “I heard that she may be Episcopalian. That has to be the one true faith, because she is so perfect,” stated the 1oth grader. Barry went on to say that whatever religion she is, it can’t be as bad as the one he is in now. “To be honest, going to a different church would keep my parents off my back for a few hours, ” he confided.  There are other, deeper reasons why Barry wants to leave the faith of his fathers. The local Episcopalian church has that air hockey table in the basement, and he dominates that game. When pushed on the subject, Barry admits that he’s a bit of an architecture nerd, and he loves the fact that St John’s Episcopal Church is in the Carpenter Gothic style. Barry Damon’s next big move in courting Marilyn is strategically dropping his pencil on the floor and asking her to pick it up. “It’s in Jesus’ hands after that,” he grinned.

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...