The Theological Institute of Technology released a new survey showing a vast proportion of left-leaning comedians believe Senator Al Franken of Minnesota would “make President Trump cry like a baby” in a debate.
Comedians were questioned in their natural environments to get their real feelings on the issue. Interviewers had to journey to that crappy open mic where there’s that leak in the men’s room ceiling, and it drips on you while you use the urinal. Research assistants also traveled to hundreds of late night delis, breakfast joints, and house parties to track down their subjects.
All across the country comedians answered the three questions of the survey:
- Are you a Democrat, a Democratic-Socialist, Menshevik, Green Party member, left leaning independent, or have another non-fascist political affiliation (i.e., not Republican)?
- Tell me why Rick and Morty is the best show ever.
- If Democratic Senator Al Franken decides to run in 2020, how long would it take him to demolish the fragile man-child Donald J. Trump?
99% of those answering stated the debates between Senator Franken and President Trump would be “epic.” 85% reported they are already targeting their Republican friends and family to make bets if Franken vs. Trump happens. Seeing that 2020 is so far away, all the comics stated they are getting great odds.
“My racist uncle is giving me 50-1 odds,” stated comedian Andrew Canard. “I don’t think he knows what that means.”
However, not every left leaning funny person is supporting Senator Franken. Some are hoping that Senator Bernie Sanders runs again. There is a sizeable minority who dream of a Sanders-Franken ticket. At least one Hillary Clinton supporter believes that such a pairing may be too “Jewy” and the country “isn’t ready for so much Scandinavian thinking.”
Many political onlookers state Senator Franken has repeatedly said he isn’t running in 2020. Andrew Canard isn’t hearing that:
Al is one of us. He’s been a Senator for a long time, but he’s still a comedian at heart. And every comedian dreams of that one show that will go into the history books. I’m guessing he goes to sleep and dreams of Trump related one liners
Republicans have other things to worry about besides their fantasy league political pairing in 2020. At the time of this article, the GOP still has yet to grapple with an internal revolution where Trumpists are seeking to eat the young of establishment Republicans.
Senator Franken has yet to respond to this research.
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017
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