Just days after Apple discontinued the iPod, it announced the discontinuation of KidR, the #1 app for Catholic priests. As of 11:59 PM this Saturday, the app will be wiped out of existence.
The app’s main purpose is to keep Catholic holy men connected with the youth in their flock. Once a priest connects with a child who has the app, the holy man has full access to photos, data, and social media accounts the youth utilizes.
“This is a real blow. I spend more time on KidR than I spend on my knees,” said one priest on condition of anonymity. “What are they thinking? Their logic is just impenetrable. Give me a minute, I’m going to have a stroke.”
The app has a history of controversy. The movie Spotlight revealed KidR’s creepy Peek-a-Boo feature. Producers of the once-popular TV show To Catch a Predator called it The pedophile priest’s little helper.
Priests, bishops, cardinals, and even Pope Francis, all of whom are reported to have it on their phone, are blaming Satan for a “smear campaign” against KidR. Without the ability to peep into the lives of children, priests won’t be able to protect them from critical thinking and reporting “secrets” to the police.
QAnon Catholic parents are especially up in arms, seeing the cancellation of KidR as just another case of the globalist-lizardpeople-pedophile-Democrat industrial complex at work.
“If they think they will replace us, they have another thing coming,” continued the anonymous priest. “Our rightful place is standing behind the children.”
What have Catholic priests ever done to kids? The real enemy is pedophile critical race theory.
– Proud Catholic Dad
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