Atheists, take this simple quiz of 20 questions and find out how bad a person you are.
- Have you ever respectfully closed your eyes while someone at the dinner table said grace before the meal?
- Did you ever say, “I don’t know what you mean by that,” when a Christian said, “You may not believe in God, but God believes in you”?
- Have you chosen to join a prayer circle because you’re the only white guy at the party, and if you didn’t people would think you’re racist even though everyone knows you’re an atheist?
- When your friend from high school turns up in your Facebook feed trying to sell Jesus scented candles, did you politely ask them not to spam you?
- Have you said “Happy Holidays” during any holiday season?
- Have you said “Merry Christmas” during any holiday season?
- Beer. Ever had it?
- Sex. Does it make you reflect what a dirty, fallen being?
- That time when Uncle Jimmy told you “Evolution is just a theory” did you politely correct him?
- Did you ever bite the bullet and go to church because Nana wanted you to go with her?
- Three pints in on a Saturday night and your buddy you haven’t seen in years talks about Jesus parting the Red Sea. Do you correct them?
- Have you ever pointed out that science isn’t a collection of facts as much as a reliable process of understanding the world?
- Pointing out logical fallacies, ever done it?
- You’re at a social gathering and a conservative rabbi proudly states he’s going to financially cut off his child in college if she gets a tatto0. Do you throw down?
- That person you just started dating tells you they’re in a cult right after you had sex. Do you say “Wow”?
- Has the statement “Correlation doesn’t equal causation” ever escaped your lips?
- Have you read a holy book cover to cover?
- At any time in your life, did you ever drink water (mineral, bottled, tap)?
- Did you ever watch anything on television?
- Quizzes, ever taken one?
Answer key: Regardless of your answers there will be gaggles of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, and maybe Zoroastrians who don’t like you and think you’re a crummy person.
Don’t worry. Being an atheist doesn’t give you any crumbly characteristics.