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Washington DC – There is no doubt the youngest Trump, Barron, has issues with his family. For example, in an incident that the President kept quiet, Barron ran away from home.

The 2018 article Barron Trump Runs Away From Home tells the tale.

President Trump’s youngest son Barron Trump ran away from home in the early hours of Sunday morning. His whereabouts are currently unknown, and law enforcement is currently searching for the 12-year-old.

Although he left no letter to explain his actions, Barron’s close friends at Saint Andrew’s Episcopal School where he is enrolled had one theory why he’s on the run.

“He’s 99% sure his dad’s the antichrist,” stated classmate Andrew Canard, “and Barron doesn’t want to be any part of it.”

While Barron eventually returned home, issues between son and father simmered. Fast forward to 2020, Barron is 14 years old and making a radical announcement that he is supporting Democratic nominee Joe Biden for President of the United States of America.

“My dad’s incompetence concerning COVID-19 has killed over 200,000 Americans,” the youth stated. “That’s 200,000 reasons why not to vote for him. And the racist stuff? To quote Joe Biden ‘C’mon man!'”

This act of political resistance against the forces of oligarchy, fascism, and Christian theocracy has not earned him any points at home. Sources in the White House state Barron is grounded indefinitely until he changes his mind or the 2020 election is over. Keeping him under what amounts to house arrest may not be the smartest idea, however. Now that he has so much time on his hands Barron is supposedly convincing big brother Eric not to vote for Dad either.

Gambling sites give the chances of Eric not voting for his father to be 73%. Barron has a long history playing mind games with his half-brother and there’s even a chance Eric eventually will come out as a Green Party supporter.

“There’s a good chance Eric votes for Baby Yoda,” one insider noted.

In related news, Eric Trump’s hygiene problem is finally under control.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...