Barron and Donald take a walk.
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In the not so distant past, a high school diploma was good enough for the average person to make a decent living. However, times have changed and even having a 4-year degree is no guarantee of getting a job that will allow you to enjoy a middle-class lifestyle. It’s not hard to see a world where Master’s degrees are the norm for many positions.

Parents are well aware of the financial crunch they are in. A good college education is expensive. The National Center for Education Statistics tracks the costs of private and public colleges and universities. What they have to say is daunting for many.

For the 2017–18 academic year, annual current dollar prices for undergraduate tuition, fees, room, and board were estimated to be $17,797 at public institutions, $46,014 at private nonprofit institutions, and $26,261 at private for-profit institutions. Between 2007–08 and 2017–18, prices for undergraduate tuition, fees, room, and board at public institutions rose 31 percent, and prices at private nonprofit institutions rose 23 percent, after adjustment for inflation.

Taking all of this into account, even the affluent can have trouble financing higher education. Barron Trump’s parents should’ve been the guardians for the funds dedicated to paying for it. Instead, the high schooler is looking to a future where he will have to take out huge loans because someone has taken all of the money out of his 529 plan.

What Is A 529 Plan?

A 529 plan is a financial vehicle designed to offer tax incentives for those trying to pay for higher education. It can also be used to pay for K-12 private schooling. Each state has its own 529 program and parents are not limited to using the plan in the state they live in. They can shop around.

Those investing in 529s can invest in their money in a variety of ways. Financial institutions offer a variety of packages targeted at all sorts of investors whether they are risk-averse or happy to place the funds in growth stocks. Popular plans take into account the age of the future student. The younger the child is the more aggressive their portfolio is. As the student approaches college age, their 529 becomes more conservative and less vulnerable to the fluctuations of the stock market.

Barron Trump’s Missing Money

Anonymous White House sources state the youngest Trump recently found out he has hardly any money left in his 529 plan. Barron happened to be at the kitchen table and saw an envelope with his and his dad’s name on it. Assuming it was okay to open it, he found out it was a letter from Fidelity Investments informing him that his college account had only $3.23 in it.

Upset, he immediately took the form and walked the White House corridors to find a parent. He wanted an explanation and he wanted it ASAP.

Dr. Andrew Canard is a child psychologist. His practice focuses on children whose parents are jerks. He’s seen a lot of college funds suddenly go missing. “It’s sad when parents steal from their own kids. If you ask them, they always have what they consider a good excuse,” he noted.

Barron found his father, the President of the United States, watching a rerun of his 2016 win over Hillary Clinton. When confronted, the patriarch of the Trump clan acted as if he didn’t know anything. When he saw the letter he reportedly said, “I bet Hunter Biden stole it. I’ll get  Attorney General Barr on it right away.”

A dejected Barron knew what that meant. That money was gone and probably went to finance his dad’s failed 2020 campaign.

A little later he found his mom. She reassured him she has money squirreled away for the two of them. Her onlyfans account is paying off handsomely.

In related news, a dog in Texas shoots his owner.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...

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