Reading Time: 2 minutes

Conservative podcaster, author, and “personality” Ben Shapiro is experiencing a change in personality. The man who once spun right-wing word salad like, “If you pay tuition, you’re sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. If you pay taxes, you’re sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda. If your child majors in English, you’re sponsoring the militant homosexual agenda,” is now a die-hard Marxist.

Friends, family, and ex-coworkers noted the drastic change once Mr. Shapiro started taking Ritalin for his ADHD. “His doctor has been trying to get him to take it since college,” one anonymous informant who goes by “Mom” stated. “Benny finally did, thank God.”

WebMD explains how Ritalin is used.

This medication is used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorderADHD. It works by changing the amounts of certain natural substances in the brain. Methylphenidate belongs to a class of drugs known as stimulants. It can help increase your ability to pay attention, stay focused on an activity, and control behavior problems. It may also help you to organize your tasks and improve listening skills.

“Benny never listened to what anyone had to say. It’s one of the reasons why he had all the crazy thoughts,” “Mom” continued.

Since starting the medication, Mr. Shapiro has read Karl Marx’s Das Kapital, Lenin’s What is to be Done?, and Dale Carnegie’s famous tome How to Win Friends and Influence People.

“I’ve been a dick. I’ve been an idiot. No more. That’s why I’m hanging up my political pundit career. I’m currently working on my first hip hop album Crunk,” he told reporters.

Mr. Shapiro recognizes that even though his thoughts no longer speed through his mind at unmanageable velocities, he still has the ability to spit out words at an incredible speed. And spitting out rhymes rapidly is a skill set necessary for the kind of rap he wants to do.

Of course, he has to live down his 2012 tweet where he said Fact: rap isn’t music. And if you think it is, you’re stupid. However, his current work assisting Black Lives Matter may help his status in the community.

In related news, Joe Biden challenges President Trump to a ‘ramp run.”

Did you enjoy this post? How about buying the writer a cup of coffee! 

Or becoming a Patron?

Thought of the day!

Avatar photo

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...