Evangelical Heaven has a lot of perks, and that’s cool if that’s what you’re into. It’s the perfect gated community. However, its library has a lot to offer. Here are just some of the books banned in Evangelical Heaven.
- One Christ, Two Christ, Dead Christ, New Christ
- The Pigs are Alright: God Tries a Pork Chop by Guy Fieri
- Flop or Flood: Noah’s Pool Party
- Fashion in Hell: What to wear to the Devil’s Hot Tub
- On The Origin of Species [by Means of Natural Selection]
- Critical Thinking Skills for Dummies
- Eve’s Datenight With Abel AND Caine
- Applesauce! – The Original Sauce Of Sin
- King David’s Guide To A Successful Marriage
- The Book Of Mormon
- Jesus Made Me Give Up Masturbation When I Was 13
- The Perfect Lie – by Mary the mother of Jesus
- The Catholic Bible
- Vampires, Lovers, And Other Strangers
- Nailin’ It: In The Woodshop With Jesus
- My Side Of The Story – by Satan
- The Atheist’s Guide To The Old Testament
- The Prince Of Peas
- Mary’s Guide To Premarital Sex
- The Selfish Gene
- I’m Just Making This Up – Paul the Apostle
- Every Sperm Is Sacred
- It’s Not Gay If You Pray – by Thomas Aquinas
- Fall Guy – by Judas
- A Promised Land – by Barack Obama
- Quiet Quitting The Trinity – by the Holy Spirit
- What Really Happened In Genesis
- My Dad, My Bully – by Jesus
I want to thank some of my peeps on Facebook and Twitter for helping out on this august list. Special thanks to Tons of Mice and Simply Secular Dave.
What do you think? Do you have any thoughts on which books wouldn’t be allowed in Evangelical Heaven?
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