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Ottawa, Canada – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced a plan early today to give scientists from the United States of America political asylum. The offer starts immediately and will continue until the US “wakes up and smells the science.

Prominent Canadian politician Andrew Canard was instrumental in getting the measure dubbed Save Science from the Upcoming Dark Ages Part 2 (SSUDA2) and reflected on the program.

If you were able to travel back in time and save the leading minds from the devastation following the fall of the Roman Empire and the rise of Christianity wouldn’t you? As Carl Sagan noted, if our species avoided that catastrophe, then we would be living Star Trek right now.

The United States is doing its darndest to take the rest of the world down with it.

Canada says politely, No thank you.

Canada assures refugees it will not require them to make out mountains of paperwork or be stuck in cages as they go through the process. Scientists will simply have to answer a few basic questions like “What are the characteristics of a scientific theory?” and “If evolution is real, then why are there still monkeys?”

Anonymous sources within the Canadian government admit many of the questions are designed to weed out evangelicals masquerading as scientists. It’s reported Christian zealots are attempting to infiltrate Canada in the attempt to turn it into Mississippi.

President Trump is furious. GOP strategists were planning to use “egg heads” as scapegoats in the presidential election. Now, they will have to be content with using gays, women, Mexicans, Muslims, transsexuals, with a dash of Jews.

“It’s gonna be tough, but the team can handle it,” admitted one anonymous Trump supporter.

In related news, Iceland bans sociopaths from holding government positions.

 


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...