Christo-fascists around the world aren’t taking any time off as they celebrate Easter. Considered to be one of the two main recruiting holidays of the year (the other being Christmas), these authoritarians are bringing out tried and true methods with a new spin to make the rest of us a bit more miserable and stupid.
Professor Andrew Canard teaches How Catholicism and Martin Luther Prepared the way for the Holocaust at Miskatonic University. He believes those hollow chocolate bunnies kids devour on Easter are actually filled with anti-democratic beliefs. “Christians are effectively slaves of God. Obey and you won’t get tortured for eternity,” he said. “Easter Trojan horses that message in Cadbury Cream Eggs.”
Here are just some of the ways these Nazis for Christ are promoting their brand on this very special day.
- Yelling at a gay couple and their family. Is it possible to run a faith-based fascist movement without having scapegoats to persecute? Don’t ask Christo-fascists because they’re too focused on drumming up support by persecuting the LGBTQ community.
- Income inequality? Yes, more please! It’s widly known by social scientists societies that don’t have a good social safety net (i.e., don’t offer universal helathcare, adequatley fund education, etc) are more religious. That’s why Republicans on Easter conitnue to demonize the federal government as well as praise tax cuts!
- Killing other Christians. What is more Christian than killing other Christians? Maybe Russian President Vladimir Putin knows the answer? Whether you’re in Ancient Rome fighting about the Trinity or today and invading another Christian nation in the name of Russian psychosis this Easter treat is a classic!
So, remember friends, don’t forget to kick that Christo-fascist Easter Rabbit in the eggs!
In related news, propeller hats are giving millions windmill cancer.