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“He is more Christian than Donald Trump.”

Derry, New Hampshire – In this sleepy town of 898 souls in what’s called the Northern Kingdom section of New Hampshire, Democratic candidate for President Bernie Sanders is getting support from a group of confused white supremacists.

”I like him. He supports the working man,” said Andrew Canard, a prominent member of the local white supremacist group.

Mr. Canard and his local band of believers have faith in white power and the white man’s innate superiority over minorities. They are battling stereotypes that every white supremacist supports Donald Trump. Many within the group state President Trump’s economic policies are eroding the white middle class of America. They assert Trump is creating a legion of modern-day serfs to work in horrible conditions for billionaires.

”Well, you have to hand it to them,” remarked Sociology Professor William Canard (no relation to Andrew Canard), “they do have half of the equation right.”

When confronted with the fact that Bernies Sanders is Jewish, the local white supremacists scrunched up their faces reflecting a deep sense of cognitive dissonance. After an impromptu meeting of the racist minds, they all agreed Bernie Sanders can’t be Jewish because he has no horns. And everyone knows Jews have horns.

Professor Canard offered some insight. “There was a common perception years ago that Jews have horns due to a mistranslation in the Olde Testament. It was when Moses came down with the Ten Commandments. The mistranslation stated he had horns.”

The white supremacists would not accept the evidence that Jews do not have horns. They chanted it was fake news created by the international Jewish conspiracy.

The Sanders campaign issued a public statement covering several points:

  • Bernie Sanders is Jewish.
  • People of Jewish descent do not have horns.
  • The campaign does not want the support of white supremacists.

In related news, President Trump’s 2020 campaign produced a photoshopped pic of Bernie Sanders getting his horns filed down.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...