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Is Chick-fil-A going woke?

Conservatives this week are attacking Chick-fil-A as it is testing a new non-meat entree, the Cauliflower Christ Sandwich. The company realizes that diners are looking for healthier options and experimented with other plant-based sandwiches in the past. However, their earlier attempts did not succeed. “Customers did not like eating turnip patties,” one anonymous restaurant owner said.

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The Guardian reports why the fast food giant is experimenting with its menu.

Chick-fil-A is a relative latecomer to the plant-based fast food scene. Burger King started selling its Impossible Whopper – featuring a plant-based burger made by Impossible Foods – in 2019. Starbucks launched an Impossible sausage sandwich in 2020. McDonald’s debuted its McPlant burger – developed with Beyond Meat – in the UK in 2021. And KFC began selling Beyond Meat nuggets last year.

The new Cauliflower Christ Sandwich was supposed to quell any concerns evangelical Christians may have about a non-meat meal. The sandwich consists of a cauliflower steak that is marinated, breaded, pressure-cooked, and then served on a bun with two pickle slices. The ad campaign in particular markets features local ministers, priests, and reverends enjoying a big bite.

Despite its best efforts, Chik-fil-A is realizing that cauliflower “steaks” are victims of the culture wars.

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has a history of spouting conspiracy theories. The Republican representing Georgia’s 14th district went on Twitter to decry the Satanic nature of “anti-meat woke menu items.”

This is religious persecution!

And it’s being done by Chik-fil-A.

Cauliflower is a side and not a sandwich. Jesus said so in Mark 3:12

Enough with the anti-meat woke menu items!

Andrew Canard is the official spokesperson for Chik-fil-A. He was quick to point out that the company is still holding firm on the Christian values of its founder, S. Truett Cathy. He also stated that Mark 3:12 reads “But he gave them strict orders not to tell others about him.”

Despite the company pushing back against Greene, other MAGA Republicans are crying fowl at the chicken chain of restaurants. Representative Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert both signed pledges not to eat there until the sandwich is stricken off the menu.

Vegetarians are not surprised about the cauliflower controversy. For years vegetarians and their food choices have been misunderstood. The site LoveSeitan had to point out that the meat substitute seitan has absolutely nothing to do with Satan.

Some unusual news from LoveSeitan HQ today… we’ve come under fire on Twitter for ‘seitan’ sounding too similar to ‘Satan’. Funnily enough, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen this kind of tweet.

Only time will tell if the Chik-fil-A cauliflower experiment succeeds or fails.

In related news, Representative George Santos admits that he has an evil twin and it’s all his fault.

UPDATE: FOX News’ Jimmy Failla is taking a bold and brave stand against the Cauliflower Christ Sandwich.

I get that people are trying to work more vegetables into their diets for health benefits but in this case, there aren’t any because the vegetable in question is a chunk of cauliflower that’s breaded and fried and marinated in Buffalo Sauce. 

That’s not a healthier sandwich, that’s Cos Play, for people who really want a fried chicken sandwich but can’t bring themselves to give up the “meat is murder” sticker on their Prius. 

It goes too well with the “Hate Has No Home Here” and the one that says “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.”

Earth to Chick-fil-A: stop this charade right now.

God bless America. God bless factory-farmed chicken.

Thanks for stopping by! Please support journalism by buying this brave reporter a cup of coffee.

I went to see Dr. Pinker a few nights ago. He was giving a talk at Harvard University and promoting his new book on rationality (which I’m going to read after I’m done with Dennis Lehane’s The Given Day). During the Q&A Dr. Pinker mentioned that future generations will look down on us for factory farming and our treatment of animals.

And that’s it. That’s my pro-vegetarian preaching for the day.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...