Reading Time: 3 minutes

It is common knowledge in the West that democracy is the superior way of structuring societies. This preferred system of government may manifest itself in different ways such as the parliamentary system of Britain or the two-party presidential system of the United States. However, as the American humorist Mark Twain once said, “Common sense ain’t so common and oftentimes don’t make sense.” Democracy has many problems that make life miserable for everyday people, and there are three alternative ways to govern that are vastly superior to it.

Protesters marching for voting rights and ending police brutality.
Public unrest is the natural outcome of free societies.

Problems with democracy

There are many issues with the representative government commonly called “democracy.”

  • A poorly educated and motivated public – A system that is dependent on the public making decisions needs to have voters who are able to determine what their best interest is. In order to know that the average person needs to have a basic understanding of economics, history, and, of course, politics. This is simply out of the reach for a vast majority of people. And while most Western-style states are representative democracies, the issue is still just as problematic. How can you choose someone to represent you if you do not have the tools to make a wise choice? It is simply impossible.
  • Representative governments are unstable – Most people as well as businesses want stability. Planning for the future is a core necessity. Limited resources must be invested prudently and that’s impossible to do when the ship of state is directed by the chaotic winds of mass opinion or the whims of elected officials who only care about being reelected every few years.
Obey graffiti with Kim's picture.

The 3 alternative governments

It’s possible to defeat democracy’s demons by using these time-tested strategies.

  • AutocracyThe Merriam -Webster Dictionary defines autocracy as 1. the authority or rule of an autocrat; 2. a government in which one person possesses unlimited power; 3. a community or state governed by autocracy. Such a system takes authority away from the unenlightened general population and places it, in an ideal world, into someone’s hands who is exquisitely suited to wield such power. Perhaps that person was part of the secret security forces before the implosion of the USSR and is intimately aware of foreign and domestic policies.
  • Kleptocracy – Maligned by enemies of the Russian people, this form of theft-rule is vastly superior to democracy. In democracies, theft is hidden from the public and no one is really sure which politicians are really crooked and which ones are only kinda sorta crooks. Kleptocracy proudly announces that everyone in the upper echelons of power is out to take as much as humanely possible for themselves. There is no hypocrisy.
  • Putinocracy – Created by the hero of the Russian people (me), Putinocracy is the perfect synthesis of autocracy, kleptocracy, and, yes, even theocracy. The state church supports the enlightened ruler (me) and in turn is the recipient of the perks of a full-fledged kleptocracy (provided by me). Society is docile thanks to the centuries-old system of Siberian prisons/gulags. Best of all, long-range planning is definitely not hobbled by the systematic theft of the people’s assets.
An open hand painted with Ukraine's blue and yellow colors.
Please place Ukraine in this Russian hand for safekeeping.

Just give me Ukraine, OK?

It should be clear at this point that Putinocracy is superior to whatever sham government that Zelensky clown is running in Ukraine. It is a crime against humanity for the West not to support Russia (me) in liberating the Ukrainian population from the Ukrainian population.

And by the way, Poland, Lithuania, Estonia, and that other one (Latveria?) would be better off being part of Greater Putinland.


Thanks to President Putin for setting the record straight and giving us a uniquely old-school KGB view of politics. You can find more news about him in the OnlySky article Vladimir Putin bets big on Powerball.


FYI: Here is a list of organizations you can send donations to help the Ukrainian people.

In case you’re interested in reading more about the history of Ukraine, the book The Gates of Europe: A History of Ukraine is an Editor’s Pick on Amazon.

Avatar photo

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...