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President Trump needs a tough guy to fight the China virus. He thinks Deepak Chopra is the man for the job.

Washington DC – Up until early this morning Dr. Anthony Fauci was the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. He helped lead the charge against the coronavirus epidemic. President Trump fired him and replaced him with alternative-medicine expert Deepak Chopra.

President Trump made the announcement with a Tweet.

Fauci is out and the amazing Dr. Deepak Chopra is now the chief doctor in charge! Dr. Chopra will show America the tremendous American ingenuity in fighting China virus. Churches will be full Easter!

Dr. Fauci’s Fixation On Facts

Professor Andrew Canard teaches Trumpism — Facts are False at the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT). He believes the real reason why Fauci is no longer the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases is due to his belief that facts matter.

“The Coronavirus Task Force needs to be seen as an extension of the Trump for President 2020 campaign,” Professor Canard noted. “Once you wrap your mind around that, then it’s obvious anyone who appreciates or even understands science based medicine is going to get fired by Trump.”

Science reported how Dr. Fauci attempted to work within the bizarro world of the White House. While he tried not to contradict the President at press conferences he refused to tow the Trumpian line.

Q: You have not said China virus. (Trump frequently calls the cause of the spreading illness known as coronavirus disease 2019 a “China virus” or a “Chinese virus.”)

A: Ever.

Q: And you never will, will you?

A: No.

“That right there doomed him,” Professor Canard commented. “Of course, only an idiot would call the coronavirus the China virus.”

“The China Virus Is The Womb Of Opportunity” – Deepak Chopra

Deepak Chopra is taking the China virus seriously. The man who wrote Ageless Body, Timeless Mind: The Quantum Alternative to Growing Old and Do You Believe in Magic? plans to utilize all the tools in his toolbox of metaphysical medicine.

“Perception heals boundless timelessness. Existence opens intricate abstract beauty. The web of life is reborn in potential bliss,” he noted.

The Coronavirus Taskforce is planning to sell homeopathic telepathic healing dew drops to Americans seeking to boost their immune systems at a discount.

In related news, the Trump administration cancels science funding for the United Nations.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...