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American faith healers are descending on Hubei province, China

The city of Wuhan is the capital of Hubei province. It boasts a population of 19 million in its metropolitan area and nicknamed The Chicago of China due to its waterways. Unfortunately, it is also ground zero for the coronavirus outbreak.

BBC News reports on the outbreak and its effects in China and beyond

More than 4,500 cases have been recorded in Hubei province – the centre of the outbreak – which has also seen almost all of the deaths as a result of the virus.

Restrictions on travel are affecting at least 20 million people across 10 cities – including the capital Wuhan, where the virus emerged.

Its origins have been linked to illegally traded wildlife at the city’s seafood market, which sells live animals including bats, rabbits and marmots. However, the exact source of the outbreak has not been identified.

Currently, there have been 7,700 cases recorded in China as well as 172 deaths.

Finland To The Rescue?

The government of Finland realized there is no safe zone in a world where international borders are easily crossed. Finland’s first female Prime Minister Andrea Canard vowed to protect Finn’s from the disease by beefing up public health institutions. What many see as odd, is her strong support for sending American evangelical faith healers to Wuhan province.

“It’s an election year in the United States of America,” she noted. “I believe evangelicals are an existential threat to freedom in the States and abroad. Why not send a few to coronavirus central? Maybe they can miracalize some anointed healings? Maybe there will be less evangelical voters come November.”

She proceeded to say it’s a win-win situation.

Finland has already sent hundreds of American fundamentalists to the epidemic zone. Sources report a handful of snake handlers are with them. Due to travel regulations, they couldn’t bring their snakes. However, the die-hard Christians whose motto is “I haz these Jesus snakes, and they hate abortions” feel confident the LORD will provide the appropriate reptiles.

Of course, China is furious at the move. They have enough on their plate covering up how bad things really are. There are many in the Chinese government understands things may get much worse. Iceland is considering sending in homeopaths to help out.

In related news, Finland bans President Trump from entering the country.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...