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Chickamauga, Georgia –  Many schools in the state of Georgia are now open. Students are attending classes in schools. In the age of COVID-19, many teachers are viewing their jobs educating young minds as risky. Their chances of catching coronavirus are dangerously high.

Enter Mr. Andrew Canard of Nathan Bedford Forest Regional High School. Mr. Canard is a twenty-year veteran teacher. He’s been explaining Earth science to freshmen and having a blast doing it.

“It’s a terrible idea to have students return to in-class instruction,” he noted. “But if they want me back, then I decided I’d have to protect myself. And I thought ‘Why not go full Dalek?'”

Fully understanding how stupid the school committee is, Mr. Canard spent most of his summer vacation in his garage creating what he calls “anti-COVID armor.” The so-called armor is in the shape of one of Dr. Who’s most notorious villains, the Daleks.

So, What Is A Dalek?

TARDIS Wiki defines Daleks:

The Daleks were a warrior race (TV: The Witch’s Familiar, Hell Bent) made up of genetically engineeredmutants (TV: The Daleks, Genesis of the Daleks) belonging to fundamental DNA type 467-989. (TV: Daleks in Manhattan) By most accounts they were originally from the planet Skaro. (TV: The Daleks) The mutants were usually encased inside armour consisting of polycarbide (TV: Remembrance of the Daleks) and the metal Dalekanium. (COMIC: The Humanoids)

Davros Specifics

Mr. Canard’s armor has a state of the art air filtration system designed to keep the inhabitant safe from virons. At the end of every school day, Mr. Canard states he plans to change the 50 air filters Davros possesses.

The obvious question is “What happens when you have to poo?” Mr. Canard reassures students, coworkers, and parents that it has all been taken care of. The composting toilet in Davros will meet his needs during school hours.

Of course, there will be challenges. Mr. Canard and Davros can’t go up stairs. However, the school does have an elevator as well as numerous ramps for the mobility impaired. And Davros doesn’t have any hands. Mr. Canard plans to ask students to do menial tasks like write on the chalkboard and pass out papers. And what will happen if the kids refuse?

“That’s what the gun is for,” chuckled Mr. Canard.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...