Godwin’s Law, the principle that states that the longer an online conversation goes, the greater the chance one party is going to compare someone to Adolf Hitler, is officially retired, moved to Germany and is currently renting a room in the Weimar Republic’s house.
The Weimar Republic (WR) lived in the US for decades before fleeing to Germany after the inauguration of Donald J Trump.
WR’s lawyer Andrew Canard at the time made this statement at the time:
As you all know the Weimar Republic was the government of Germany from 1919-1933. It fled its native land due to the Nazi Party obtaining power. The WR knew when to flee back then and it knows when to flee now.
Close associates of Godwin’s Law report their friend was suffering horribly from stress due to the amount of real live Nazis mucking about in the United States of America. Before the rise of polo-shirted, tiki torch-wielding racist crybabies shouting out Blood and soil! Godwin’s Law played an important role. That role was to remind people not to toss about terms like Nazi, Hitler, and Panzerfaust will-nilly. The rise and fall of National Socialism and the Holocaust are subjects for calm reflection and not to make cheap rhetorical points in the comment sections on YouTube.
Donald Trump isn’t even done with his first year of being president and Godwin’s Law felt like it was living in Bizarro world.
“You gotta call it like you see it. People who say there aren’t real live Nazis marching in the streets either aren’t paying attention or are Nazi allies,” stated Godwin’s Law from WR’s reading room in Germany.
It wasn’t just the blatant Nazi propaganda that caused Godwin’s Law to lose sleep, eat Taco Bell compulsively, and rock back and forth gently at Starbucks muttering All Nazis and no play make Godwin a dull boy. What really bothered him was the constant flow of white supremacist support by his white suburban neighbors like:
- If they can say Black lives matter what’s wrong with me saying I’m against White genocide?
- I voted for Obama. What else do they want?
- If they can have Martin Luther King Day, why can’t we have statues of prominent leaders of the Confederacy?
Currently, Godwin’s Law is enjoying life in Berlin. The move has had very positive effects on his health. The secret to his happiness is drinking lots of water, only going online for 15 minutes a day, and occasionally attending talks the Weimar Republic gives on the Bauhaus school of art and design.
Will he ever move back to the United States of America?
It seems very unlikely in the current political climate. Perhaps if the US gets the professional help it needs to manage spasms of white toxic narcissism, then Godwin’s Law will move back to its humble 2 bedroom 1.5 bath bungalow outside of Boston.
However, the Weimar Republic may have an opinion on the matter.
“Living with him isn’t easy. Who clips their toenails over tea?” he gasped. “It’s just wrong.”
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017
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