Maybe she's a fake Christian?
Reading Time: 3 minutes I have to pretend I support misogyny?
Reading Time: 3 minutes

How to fake being a Christian may seem to be an odd topic to write about but for many nonbelievers, faking Christianity is a necessity. In many areas of the United States if you’re not a believer, then you could lose out on job opportunities, be harassed, and face being cut off from your family.

I was brought up in a Baptist home. My mother was the church organist and choir director and my father a deacon. One of my earliest memories is crying uncontrollably in Sunday school when they told me about the crucifixion. Fast forward to adolescence and I gave up masturbation because I wanted to get right with Jesus. In case I ever need to fake faith, well, I could do it professionally.

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What happens though when you’ve been brought up in a secular home and suddenly find out you need to cosplay being a Christian? How do you go about that?

One person asked the atheism subreddit community what to do.

Religious parents are the problem

The post How to Fake being a Christian on the atheist subreddit got a lot of responses. But why does the individual need to pose as one to begin with?

It has everything to do with her friend’s intolerant Christian parents.

My friends parents are super religious Christians and will only allow her to visit me once they have met and approved of me and there is no way they will like me if I’m anything but a nice little Christian girl. 

It needs to be mentioned that the parents are financially supporting the friend, and may cut their daughter off if she doesn’t follow their rules. Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon situation. For example, I was at a friend’s family gathering after a funeral and was talking to a rabbi who proudly boasted he would stop paying for his daughter’s college education if she dared get a tattoo. I had to excuse myself since I didn’t want to rhetorically throw down in front of everyone right after my friend’s grandfather was buried.

Does religion poison everything? I don’t know. But it can certainly destroy families. Didn’t Jesus say something about that? For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household.

The best advice on how to fake Christian

Here are a few suggestions that are spot on.

  • If someone says something sad say, “I’ll keep them in my prayers.” If someone says something positive say, “God is good.”
  • Make sure you have a favorite Bible verse and be able to quote it.
  • Wear a cross necklace.
  • Have a response to the question, “How’s your relationship with Christ?”
  • Do not wear pants. Wear a skirt or dress.
  • Stay quiet in front of the zealots. There’s less chance to mess up.
  • Use Jonah and the Whale as your favorite Bible story. It’s easy to look up the specifics of the story online. Also, familiarize yourself with one of Jesus’ parables.
  • Have a story ready on what brought you to the Lord.
  • Be ready to name the church that you supposedly go to.
  • “God is in control of everything.”
  • Act submissive to men.

That is only a partial list. I was just rereading it, and I have to be honest it got me angry. No, it made me more than a teeny-weeny bit mad. My heart goes out to the nonbeliever (and nonbelievers everywhere) who have to pretend just to get by.

Do you have any thoughts? Have you had to fake it?

In case you want a chuckle, check out the post A tour of the Smithsonian Flat Earth Museum

I read the book 30 Arguments against the Existence of “God”, Heaven, Hell, Satan, and Divine Design and enjoyed it quite a bit. Jonathan MS Pearce is the author and he has a great way of boiling down complex topics into bite-sized pieces. It’s worth a gander if you’re in the market for a good read!

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...