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CNN – Republican Representative George Santos is under fire for a web of lies/misdeeds and now he’s saying that his evil twin from a parallel dimension is to blame for the chaos.

Evil George Santos is wreaking havoc with my reputation.

George “The Good One” Santos

Representative Santos from our universe told reporters that “Evil Santos” is responsible for stealing money from a homeless veteran and lying repeatedly.

Santos has admitted to lying about graduating from Baruch College (he has not graduated from any college); working at Goldman Sachs and Citigroup (he now says he worked with a company that worked with the financial giants); owning 13 properties (he owns none); and his Ukrainian grandparents being Jewish and having fled the Holocaust (in fact, both grandparents were born in Brazil, and he was raised Christian).


A few reporters asked him if he was using the plotline of the Classic Trek episode Mirror, Mirror where some of the major characters enter another universe populated by their evil twins to cover up for his own moral failings. Santos said that there was no way that could happen because there’s no such thing as a transporter, and Evil Santos entered this reality due to an electrical storm.

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Andrew Canard reports for CNN and asked the self-identified “Good” Santos if he was just ripping off the South Park episode where a goatee-wearing Cartman from a parallel dimension crosses over to our universe during an electrical storm.

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Representative “I’m most certainly not the EVIL Santos” said that was super crazy because that would make him the Evil Santos and his twin from an alternative universe the good one.

The Santos holding the press conference then ran away as fast as his sinister legs could take him.

House Speaker Kevin McCarthy immediately put to rest any rumor that the House Republicans would welcome Good Santos from the other plane of existence and kick Evil Santos to the other world. “Look, we all know Good Santos isn’t going to be a Republican. If we let him in, he’s going to join the Democrats.”

Presently, Evil George Santos is still at large.

In related news, conservatives protest the abortion satellite network.

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You may enjoy the book The Ultimate South Park and Philosophy: Respect My Philosophah! I certainly did.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...