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In light of the recent vote legalizing abortion in the Republic of Ireland, the Irish government is giving every woman a 2-for-1 abortion coupon. The coupon features the Irish flag and two smiling young women.

The government intends the coupon to destigmatize abortion. Even though 66.4% of the country voted in favor of repealing the 8th Amendment that illegalized abortion, a full one-third of the nation didn’t. Government officials are trying to reach out to that one-third by making sure as many women as possible have abortions. The thinking is if you know someone who has had one, you’re less likely to be prejudiced against them and the procedure.

Andrew McCanard is an Irish politician who thought up of the abortion coupon. So far he’s happy with the reception the government program is getting. “Women of childbearing age love them. The money they save can be used for their post-abortion parties. Even though we’re offering an abortion discount the economy is ultimately going to benefit.”

Not everyone is seeing the upside to what many are calling the deal of the century.

Father Coughlin is an eighty-year-old priest. He’s been watching over the same church for decades. Upon hearing the result of the vote, he told a local newspaper, “When a society loses sight of Jesus and the Blessed Holy Mother, this is what’s going to happen. What’s next? Are gays going to marry?” Once told gay marriage has been legal in Ireland since 2015, Father Coughlin refused to say comment further.

The Irish government refuses to say if there will be future releases of the 2-for-1 abortion coupon. Rumors abound. “I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of women get a special gift from Santa in the mail this Christmas,” an anonymous official stated.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...