Ivanka, Jared and the kids celebrating Thanksgiving
Reading Time: 2 minutes Ivanka, Jared and their kids. Dad Donald is nowhere in sight.
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Ivanka Trump dropped a bombshell today when she admitted she’s not inviting her father over for Thanksgiving. This comes on the heels of her not attending the party Donald threw when he announced his third run to be President of the United States.

I’m done with politics and that means I don’t want my Thanksgiving ruined by my father’s MAGA foolishness.

Ivanka Trump

But what are the other Trumps doing? Is his wife Melania, and his sons Barron, Don Jr, and Eric spending time with their father on Turkey Day? The answer is a resounding NO. It’s rumored that Ivanka’s turkey is always moist and her stuffing is filled with sweet sausages. And that seems to be enough for the clan to abandon the 45th President.

Professor Andrew Canard teaches at the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT). He specializes in Family Systems Theory and Holidays. He believes this odd turn of events is normal in dysfunctional families. “Look, ducks make ducks,” he said. “Donald Trump frames all of his relationships in a transactional way. Is there any wonder why his wife and kids left him?”

On hearing the news, CEO of My Pillow Mike Lindell vowed his friend and ally will not be alone on the holiday. “I’m bringing four Swanson Hungry-Man Frozen Dinners,” he said. “We’ll eat two Roasted Carved White Meat Turkey Meals for dinner and then have Smothered Salsbury Steak Double Meat Bowls for a snack.”

Former President Trump is taking the news in typical Trumpian fashion. He went on Truth Social and told his followers that his Thanksgiving will be “the best the world has ever seen.” And what about his family leaving him? He’s blaming it all on Dominion voting machines and that his invitation to Ivanka’s was hacked by Hunter Biden.

Trump also stated Mike Lindell can bring all the frozen dinners he wants. The Donald will be ordering America’s dinner — McDonald’s.

In related news, Governor Ron DeSantis orders ‘anti-masturbation’ school lunches for all Florida students.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...