Jerry Falwell Jr and God -- star crossed lovers
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Jerry Falwell Jr has fallen from grace. His father, Dr. Jerry Falwell, built a faith-based empire for Christ around Liberty University. The school based in Lynchburg, VA states it is “a Christian academic community” and “develops Christ-centered men and women.”  His son’s reputation is in tatters from a fixation on sex outside the traditional confines of marriage.

Although he is in the midst of controversy and lawsuits, Jerry Falwell Jr recently stated, “The best sexual intercourse I ever had was with a man. And when I say sexual intercourse this is not some flowery metaphor. This is the real thing. Physical butt stuff. The man was the man from upstairs, God.”

The History Of A Very Falwell Sex Scandal

Giancarlo Granda talked to Reuters about his sexy relationship with Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife Becki. Mr. Granda was twenty-years-old working as a pool boy when he met the evangelical power couple. Their friendship developed into something out of a porn film. Granda reported Falwell would sit in the corner as he had sexual intercourse with Becki.

Becki and I developed an intimate relationship and Jerry enjoyed watching from the corner of the room,” Granda said in an interview. Now 29, he described the liaisons as frequent – “multiple times per year” – and said the encounters took place at hotels in Miami and New York, and at the Falwells’ home in Virginia.

Politico reports the Falwell’s sexual impropriety wasn’t just limited to Mr. Granda. Rather, the two would walk around Liberty University fantasizing about having sex with students. In fact one stated Becki seduced him.

The former student, a member of a band with the Falwells’ son Trey, has said that Becki initiated oral sex with him while he stayed overnight at the Falwell home, following other attempts to seduce him. She confided to him the details of the game she and her husband would play, and told him multiple times how she and Jerry would take note of students’ appearances.

“Her and Jerry would eye people down on campus,” the former student, who was 22 when Becki performed oral sex on him and is now 32, said. “She didn’t go into specifics, but said, ‘Oh, me and Jerry play games all the time, like “Would you rather?” with people on campus.’ I’ll never forget that.

Many Trump Voters Support Falwell

Jerry Falwell Jr. stated his having sex with God was no sin. Divine command theory strictly states God is not restricted by His own rules. It’slike the commandment Do not kill. People shouldn’t kill all willy-nilly. However, God can kill all he wants and it’s right as rain. God can penetrate all the butts He wants.

Homophobic evangelical men are flocking to the idea of being a bottom for the LORD Almighty.

“Falwell makes a lot of sense,” said Trump voter and believer Billy Turner. “What’s important is that he isn’t gay, doesn’t want gays to marry, and wouldn’t get an abortion if God put a holy baby into his belly.”

An anonymous wife wasn’t surprised at this somewhat strange turn of events, “I’ve seen my man stare at players’ butts on Sunday football. I suppose the Holy Spirit was just getting him ready to be called to duty.”

In related news, Bostonians share how they brush their teeth.

 

 

 


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...