In the new book, I Alone Can Fix The Country President Donald J. Trump told Vice President Mike Pence that “Jesus made me the king of democracy.” He went on to say that Jesus is proud of Trump’s handling the coronavirus and how he ran quarterback Colin Kaepernick out of the NFL.
Author Andrew Canard states there were many eyewitnesses to the incident. “It was after Trump lost the election, and he was having another one of his meltdowns,” he said. “And that wasn’t the craziest part. Attorney General Bill Barr said Trump was right because it said so in the Constitution and the Bible.”
While many Democrats and independents are shocked by the story, Trump fans and white evangelicals are celebrating. Having neither read the Constitution or the Bible they are more than willing to accept whatever supports the newest variant of QAnon conspiracy.
In a snap poll of 2,312 white evangelicals, Pew discovered that 103% of Trump supporters believe that: 1.Kings are legitimate in democracies and republics; 2. Colin Kaepernick created the fake coronavirus; 3. Vaccine passports will cause infertility. One researcher said, “It was hard to be 103% on anything, but Trump supporters don’t understand math.”
In related news, actor Chris Pratt is searching for a new god.