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MTV Studios announced today it is spinning off a new show based on its current hit, Catfish. The name of the new show is Jesusfish. While the cast and crew of Catfish help young adults find out the real identity of the person he or she was in an internet relationship with, Jesusfish plans to help young adults find out the real facts behind the 2,000-year-old carpenter they believe they are in a relationship with.

Producers of Catfish state that they are bombarded with requests to be on the show. It seems that there are many lonely hearts who wish to make an online romantic connection, even though the other person refuses to meet or even video chat with him or her.

In any one season, there is an incredibly high pile of rejected submissions. It was the unpaid intern, Katie Pope, who discovered that there were a lot of faithful Christians who had written in hoping to find out who they were actually praying to.

“I knew we had a brand new show in the making. That’s how Jesusfish was born,” stated Katie.

Jesusfish will follow two intrepid investigators as they interview young Christians. Tough questions will be asked. For example, What are your conversations with Jesus like? And Did he tell you he loves you?

One of the consistent problems that the series plans to address is that Jesus tells a lot of people that he loves them, but he is very spotty answering their requests.

“I know Jesus loves me and wants the best for me, but why didn’t he help me find my car keys that time? I had to go to the dealership and get new ones, and that ain’t cheap,” wrote a prospective Jesusfish guest.

Another issue that the show plans to explore is that Jesus stated he was going visit and do some face time with people he said he loves. It’s been 2000 years since he was around. Worse yet, Jesus has been telling people that he would show up for special events like The Rapture and Armageddon, and yet he has never appeared.

“I love him. He says he loves me. Why the games?” a young Christian scrawled into another letter.

A pilot has already been shot. Just like in Catfish, the hosts of Jesusfish do a Google image search of the picture the lovelorn guest has of his or her beloved.  While on Catfish such a search can point to the true identity of the person in question, it has been found on Jesusfish that a lot of pictures of Jesus are actually Renaissance paintings done by artists who never met the fellow.

An anonymous producer for Jesusfish expressed his thoughts  on the show, “I’m getting the feeling that this show is going to be more like Ghost Hunters — you know, there’s a lot of action, but nothing ever really changes.”

 

*Yes, this is a Poe. It originally appeared on Laughing in Disbelief last October.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...