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President Joe Biden’s two German shepherds, Champ and Major devastated Eric Trump at Jeopardy last night. The special celebrity edition of the popular game show featured the two canines and Eric answering trivia questions. Each contestant played for a charity of their choice.

Major Biden’s charity was the Deleware Humane Society. The Biden’s adopted Major from there recently. Champ’s charity was Take A Bite Out of Fascism (TBOF). As the name suggests, TBOF is an anti-Trump organization dedicated to eradicating Trumpism. And Eric Trump played for his father’s legal defense fund. Although Donald is facing a mountain of litigation, the pressing issue is the upcoming impeachment trial starting on February 8th. Donald Trump needs cash, and he needs it now.

Bidens vs Trump On Jeopardy

The producers of Jeopardy reassured fans questions were not going to be watered down just because the three contestants were celebrities. The three faced questions from categories like Jane Austin, The Presidency, and Economics.

Andrew Canard is Executive Producer of the long-running show. He was impressed by the Bidens’ mastery of many topics. “Major crushed questions having to do with Pride and Prejudice and surprisingly Pride and Prejudice in the Time of Zombies,” he said. “And it turns out Champ did his Ph.D. thesis on Andrew Jackson and American Fascism, so his wager on the daily double was a smart bet.”

What about Eric?

“Well, we gave Eric 1,000 dollars during a commercial break. He just looked so sad,” Mr. Canard said.

The Democrats Cheated

After the show, Eric Trump asserted the two German shepherds cheated. Dominion voting machines altered the questions and made them “super hard.” The son of the former President also said he wanted a recount and maybe even a do-over with questions from one of his word search books.

Ultimately, the team at Jeopardy is telling the Trumps they lost fair and square. Perhaps if they did a better job at not sucking, then they wouldn’t have gotten beaten so badly.

And who won? Did Major or Champ hold their paw up high in victory at the end of the day?

It was America. We all won.

In related news, American style capitalism is still the problem.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...

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