Washington DC – A mob of kangaroos is making its home in the Supreme Court of the United States of America. These Republican “roos” are out of control and are quickly eviscerating women’s rights, gay rights, and non-pouch-related issues.
”One minute the Supreme Court isn’t a joke and the next we have the world’s largest marsupials taking the office supplies and putting them in their pouches,” stated SCOTUS reporter Andrew Canard. ”Oh, we see you, Justice Thomas. Stop the insanity and put the stapler back now!”
A group of kangaroos may be called a mob, a troop, or even a court. Apparently, the kangaroos who are now living in the Supreme Court are living up to those names. In a written statement the kangaroos pledge to:
- Act like a mob when it comes to attacking uteruses.
- Behave like a loyal troop of Christofascists.
- Never forget they are courting disaster for the United States of America.
“Oh, Republicans say they love freedom, but what the right-wing oligarchs really want is total control of the country. And they made a deal with evangelicals who want to control vaginas and penises that don’t meet Jesus’ standards,” quipped one irritate humour blogger.
Experts don’t expect Democrats are going to learn anything from the rampaging kangaroo menace. For too long the party has nurtured the idea people should focus on winning court cases as against to winning the hearts and minds of voters who don’t share their views. In the light of recent events, it’s highly probable the American left will double down on losing strategies.
In related news, Justice Thomas is shocked to find soldiers living in his home.