Independence, Alabama – Members of the Ku Klux Klan are flooding into the intensive care unit of Goddard Hospital. Of the 12 ICU beds this small regional medical facility has, all of them are taken by Klan members who have COVID-19. And it all stems from the group’s current policy not to wear face masks of any kind.
“We didn’t want to become slaves to Faucci,” a fallen member of the Invisible Empire said. “And now I can’t breathe.”
The Cross Burning Super Spreader Event
Last week the state’s chapter of the KKK came out in force to celebrate white America by burning a 30ft tall cross and defying public health policies. Hundreds attended the event which featured music, food, and reciting moving passages from The Turner Diaries. At the end of the night, participants burned face masks as well as the cross.
However, not every single member at the event was happy with the no face mask rule.
“Look, I’m vaccinated. I’m not telling anyone that fact. They’d run me out,” said one anonymous attendee.”Being with my white brothers and sisters was fun, but man, why couldn’t we wear our hoods with the traditional face covering?”
The Ku Klux Klan Decimated
Figures aren’t available concerning how many people who attended the event contracted COVID. What is clear is that medical facilities around the state are now filled with white supremacists gasping for air.
Professor Andrew Canard teaches the history of the KKK at Miskatonic University. He believes there is going to be more fallout from the recent events. “I predict the Klan is going to purge members who they think are vaccinated,” he said. “Death cults are as much a danger to their members as to others.”
In related news, FOX News personality Tucker Carlson is at it again.
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