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New claims from American Muckrakers PAC reveal Representative Lauren Boebert’s favorite position for sexual intercourse is the mobile payment service Venmo.

So what? I pay my wife for sex. It’s a kink. Don’t shame us.

Anonymous husband

The news comes just days after Muckrakers unleashed a story asserting Boebert was once a paid escort and had two abortions.

The Hill reports the accusations are squirrelly. The dates of the supposed abortions don’t line up with the birth of her children. Of the three photographs released by Muckrakers, one of them isn’t even of her.

The third of the photos included by the PAC in its release is not Boebert at all but of Mellissa Carone, a woman who Rudy Guiliani brought to testify at a 2020 election fraud hearing in Michigan. The photo came from Carone’s Explore Talent page, which has also been removed but is viewable in web archives.

Boebert is vowing to sue for an undisclosed amount. Sources deep in her legal team believe that if she wins, she will get paid via Venmo.

In a classic Republican move, Boebert recently diverted attention away from this story by saying if Jesus Christ had an Ar-15 he may not have been crucified.

Speaking during an event organised by Charis Christian Centre last Saturday, the Colorado Representative said “little Twitter trolls” often challenge her about her pro-gun stance, asking if Jesus needed AR-15 rifles.

“They like to say: ‘Oh, Jesus didn’t need an AR-15. How many AR-15s do you think Jesus would have had?’ Well, he didn’t have enough to keep his government from killing him.”

The Independent

Professor Andrew Canard teaches at Miskatonic University and studies Poes, hoaxes, and internet satire. He believes it’s getting progressively difficult to determine what is real and what isn’t.

MAGA loving Republican lawmakers are bizarre. Ted Cruz emits slime. Marjorie Taylor Greene is part of a militia group called White Gazpaucho. But what’s important to remember in times like this is that sex work is work, and we need to advocate tirelessly for its decriminalization.

In related news, QAnon true believers flock to “Mars Jesus.”

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...