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My girlfriend was jealous of her coworkers who had “I voted” stickers. She made her own.

It’s human nature to rationalize the horrible. We save our fragile egos from what’s perceived as dangerous information. You can easily see that dynamic play out in religion.

For example…

Fact: Everyone dies.

Religion: Na-uh! Everyone’s body takes a temporary dirt nap until Jesus comes back and then it’s Magic Candy Mountain time!

I think you know what I mean.

In the aftermath of Trump’s win, there are more than a few people who are taking a page from the Ego Defense Playbook and making it their own.

I hadn’t seen my 11-year-old daughter since America collectively decided to shoot itself in the genitals. I was hanging out and catching up on The Walking Dead (less traumatic a future than America under Trump?) when she came back from school.

She instantly went into chatting about her day. She’s in concert choir and launched into the trials and tribulations of do-re-mi. We went over what she had for homework, and then discussed going to see her teachers, seeing that it was parent-teacher conferences that night.

I didn’t immediately bring up the elections. The first few minutes of conversation I have with my kids when they come back to school is intended to help them transition from being there to being with their loveable (?) lunatic of a father. I was also taking her emotional temperature. Was she upset with Hillary losing? Her mother and I have talked about the evils of Trumpism for months.

Apparently, she wasn’t overwhelmed by the onset of the upcoming Age of the Walking Dead/Trump. I considered this a good thing. One of my goals as a parent is to have my children be emotionally resilient. If I were going to steal a parable from Jesus’ playbook, I’d say I want my kids to build their house on a rock. When problems arise, they won’t fall to pieces.

It’s important to point out that emotionally resiliency isn’t I’m ignoring or rationalizing away the problem. 

And that turned out to be the problem at hand, Disbelievers.

“My teacher said that the President wasn’t that powerful,” she stated.

Oh, my head started to throb. I’ve heard this song and dance many times over the past few months.

“Well, that is bullshit,” I quipped. Then I explained in simplistic terms what Executive Orders are. The leeway a President has enforcing laws. And, yes, the power imperial the President has when acting as Commander-in-Chief.

I grabbed an apple, an orange, and a banana to make a point. We had talked about the three branches of government and how in theory they are meant to act to check and balance each other.

“When one political party takes over all three fruits, that’s when the system really breaks down,” I explained. “What we will have in a few months are Republicans in charge of all the produce.”

She asked a few followup questions and happily went on to do her homework.

Emotional resiliency. A love of skepticism. A passion for Humanism.

That’s what I’m hoping will get us out of the dark times ahead.

That’s what I’m hoping will keep my kids on track.

I’ll talk about my daughter standing up in class and defending the legalization of marijuana later.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...

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