Reading Time: 2 minutes
andy at coffee shop
I’m not antisocial; I’m just very pro-me.

A local atheist has been doing well not screaming when other atheists say things like “Hey, don’t worry, twenty-three percent of Americans say they don’t have any religious affiliation. There’s no way the United States will become a theocracy.”

Before the Donald J. Trump became Commander-in-Chief of the world’s largest military this local atheist responded with cool logic. “With governments and political movements, a vocal and well-organized minority typically steers policy. If you look at pre-communist Russia Lenin’s Bolsheviks were smaller than other communist groups. However, they were very aggressive and received foreign assistance. That’s why they took over the geographically largest country on the planet.”

The person whom he was talking to usually spaced out as soon as he started challenging their belief system with historical data. Silly Rabbit, unpleasant facts are for assholes was the response this local atheist got. Sure, he was and still is an asshole but that really has no bearing on whether his assertions are true. Maybe assholes are just better at feeling unpleasant feelings that unpleasant facts engender, he muses to himself.

When the subject of religious nones comes up again in conversation — and he knows it will — this local atheist is going to be a little bit edgier with his response/analysis. Maybe he’ll go over the facts and give a personal testimonial how he wasn’t listened to by his godless peers in the past. Maybe he’ll say something like, “When you say things like that you only show the world you don’t know what you’re talking about. For reals.” He decides to add the “for reals” because even though he is a raging asshole, he is one who likes to be one with a certain personal flair.

If he were going to turn up the asshole to 11, he would point out that President Trump didn’t win a majority of the popular vote, thus supporting his assertion. However, doing that would probably make him even more unpopular than he is now.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...