Reading Time: 2 minutes One of my arguments in my God on Trial talk is the argument concerning photosynthesis which I think is a powerful Problem of Evil argument. Basically, when we look at all the suffering in the world, we often forget about the millions and millions of years' worth of suffering which has taken place on account of carnivorousness.
Reading Time: 2 minutes


Twenty-eight-year-old Michael Williams walks through the local Shop ‘N Save looking for peach salsa. He doesn’t usually shop at this particular store so he is torn between looking in the chip aisle, the condiment aisle, or the ethnic food aisle. Suddenly, it comes to him: If President Trump’s wall separating the United States and Mexico isn’t built, then mayonnaise will someday be relegated to the ethnic food aisle.

When he voted for Trump Michael knew he was voting for America, Mom, and apple pie. However, he didn’t know he was voting for the creamy spread that is an emulsion of egg yolk, vinegar, and oil. If’ that wall doesn’t get built, then he will become just another minority relegated to looking for the condiment of his people in the ethnic food aisle.

And what will happen to salsa?

It will take mayonnaise’s place. Hell, when you think about it there are many types of salsa. Just as the Mexicans want Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and California back, they’re going to take all the condiment aisle. Ketchup, mustard, and relish will have only a very small space on one shelf next to the mayo.

Michael Williams doesn’t want to live in that America. That’s the sort of America where July 4th is replaced with Cinco de Mayo. It’s an America where real Americans become foreigners in their own country. It’s where someday you only get to choose between the Mexican brand of mayo or that crappy Miracle Whip.

Mr. Williams finds his salsa. Just to make sure the nightmare hasn’t started yet, he walks over to the condiment aisle. He grabs a jar of mayo and says a silent prayer of thanks to Jesus.

At the cash register, he keeps the two items separate from each other. He doesn’t want the cashier to think he supports salsa-mayo intermingling.

His hidden shame, that which he can not share with anyone, is that he loves to mix salsa and mayonnaise into a spicy creamy mix.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...