Atlanta, Georgia – Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene was hoping to cause mayhem and controversy by stating she’s going to visit every single elementary school in Georgia armed with a fully loaded AR-15.
Schools don’t educate our kids these days, so I’m going to teach them a gun lesson.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene
However, no one expected schoolchildren to attack her.
How many elementary schools are there in Georgia?
Greene insists she is “the goodwill ambassador for AR-15s and the Second Amendment” and visit every elementary school in the Peach State.
Georgia’s Department of Education reports there are a total of 1.6 million k-12 students in the state and of those 742,320 go to elementary schools. Overall, there are 181 school districts. There are a total of 2,365 elementary schools; 1,852 are public and 513 are private.
That’s a lot of places to visit.
Many education experts don’t believe Representative Greene’s goal of visiting them all is realistic considering her busy schedule in Washington DC as well as her responsibilities in her district.
But when did reality ever infringe on Representative Greene’s schemes?
The AR-15 goodwill ambassador
Representative Greene’s office released a memo restating her dedication to bringing a fully armed AR-15 into schools and playing show and tell with the younger kids and giving lessons in “lock and loading” to the 4th, 5th, and 6th graders.
Colt owns the trademark to AR-15 even though many companies produce the weapon used in so many school, church, and other mass killings. Executives at the companies that make the assault rifle are standing by Representative Greene’s tour. One anonymous CEO said, “God bless America. God bless our lobbyists. And God bless the Republican Party.”
There are no planned dates for her to visit individual schools. Rather, Greene is planning to “pop in” unannounced. Her supporters believe this serves several purposes. One, she will not have to worry about communists, Democrats, and socialists protesting her visit. Two, unAmerican parents will not get forwarning and take their children out of school and deprive them of the educational experience. Three, authoritarian school principals and other staff will not have a chance to lock the doors and prevent her entry.
“I am bringing Jesus’ love for the AR-15 to all school children whether their parents like it or not,” she said.
Greene’s history of extreme behavior
This s not the first time Greene drew attention to herself for being outrageous.
In February 2023, the Walt Disney Company sued her for $150 million for impersonating Cruella de Vil.
The Disney legal team wrote, “Ms. Greene irreparably damaged one of history’s great villains. Though Cruella de Vil did kidnap 15 puppies and intended to turn them into fur coats, she is not an anti-Semite nor does she make herself look like an idiot as Greene does.” Not only does the lawsuit demand the conspiracy-minded politician to pay $150 million, but it also places a lifetime ban on her cosplaying any Disney character.
In December 2022, she told reporters, “My love language is Trump.”
Representative Greene insists she discovered the final boss of all the 5 languages — former President Donald J. Trump. “Do you want to apologize language someone? You should just call them a loser. And if you’re looking for the 6th language of appreciation in the workplace then just say, ‘You’re fired!'” Greene said.
And the most extreme thing she ever did was to make an adult film with fellow conservative, Lauren Boebert.
Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert and Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene secretly filmed an adult film titled Two Smoking Hotties For Christ. The film depicts, “How two courageous cul-de-sac mommies threw off the chains of the deep state and plunged deep into exploring each other’s bodies and firearms.” Many online reviews of the movie praise producer/director Andrew Canard’s vision of freedom, defense of evangelical Christianity, and the American way. It’s a safe bet that both politicians will win many honors at the upcoming AVN (Adult Video News) Awards.
Students attack during lunch
Apparently, students at Martin Luther King Elementary were not happy with Greene suddenly appearing armed with her AR-15 in the cafeteria. They immediately assaulted the Republican politician. Some threw pudding. Others rushed her and grabbed onto her legs and brought her to the floor.
All of the tiny attackers were heroes.
Professor Andrew Canard is an expert in child psychology. He believes the students instinctively knew their enemy. “There are so many school shootings, these kids knew it was either her or them. And they decided it wasn’t going to be them,” he said.
Eyewitnesses say no teachers or school personnel assisted Greene during the attack. It was her staff who were present that dragged her to safety. She was rushed to an area hospital for treatment and is expected to make a full recovery.
None of the children face disciplinary measures.
In related news, Donald Trump drops a single featuring the January 6th prison choir.
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