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The International Association of Tantric Sex Gurus (IATSC) revoked the license of the sex guru Jonathan “Big Shlalom” Lichtman who had sex with then-married Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene. The revocation is permanent, and he can not appeal the decision. A vast majority of tantric sex practitioners are universally supporting the decision.

Greene reportedly had the affair back in 2012. At the time the conspiracy-spouting, self-identifying Christian also had intercourse with the manager of the gym she belonged to. Her husband recently filed for divorce.

Andrew Canard is the Chief Executive Tantric Sex Officer (CETSO) of IATSC. He had this to say about the decision. “I just want to point out that this has nothing to do with how physically unattractive Marjorie Taylor Greene is,” he said. “This is about standards, and she is a hypocritical dumpster fire of a person.”

Mr. Canard then listed off the list of horrible things Greene has said and done. Fifteen minutes later his assistant urged him to stop because he was going to miss his next appointment.

The ex-sex guru understands and accepts the governing body’s verdict. Even though he had no idea Greene was an antisemite, he admits he should’ve read the signs. “Her favorite sex position is Jewish Space Laser,” he said.

In related news, here are five money-saving strategies for the apocalypse.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...