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Former Vice President Mike Pence was rushed to a Washington DC hospital after biting his own tongue off during an interview.

EMTs rushed Pence and his severed tongue to George Washington General Hospital. Doctors on the scene report it is highly likely that they will be able to reattach the tongue using sutures and a fair amount of prayer. Whether or not Pence’s ability to talk will be permanently affected is still up in the air.

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OnlySky Media’s Andrew Canard was interviewing Pence moments before the incident. “Are you going to support Donald J Trump for President if he wins the Republican nomination?” Canard asked.

Experts believe that Pence has answered that question approximately 9,735 times in the last few weeks. Every single time the former Vice President clenches his jaw tightly and states that voters will have better choices. This time, however, when he clenched his jaw his tongue got in the way.

Dr. Andrew Canard is a psychiatrist who teaches at Miskatonic University and is a best-selling author. His books on sublimated rage include Eating My Anger and I’m Sitting On My Hands So That I Don’t Strangle You During Thanksgiving Dinner. He’s seen people bite their own tongues off before. “Biting one’s own tongue off is not a super rare event,” he said. “Every year employees are rushed to hospitals due to idiotic things their immediate supervisor says.”

Will biting off his own tongue cause Pence not to run for President? Opinions vary. Close friends worry that he may just bite his tongue off again if he debates Trump. Pence’s wife, Mother, is supposedly insisting that her husband wears a mouth guard whenever possible.

Donald Trump is taking some time out from the campaign trail to comment on what’s going on with his former Vice President. “I gotta hand it to him, he is not a wimp. A wimp doesn’t bite off their own tongue.”

In related news, conservatives blast Chick-fil-A’s new ‘woke’ vegetarian sandwich.

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...