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With COVID-19 rates skyrocketing due to not following public health guidelines during the holiday season, the United States of America is facing an oxygen shortage. Patients struck with the disease who need assistance with breathing are going without. Stunned, many people are wondering, “Isn’t oxygen literally in the air? How can we be out of it?”

Public Reassured There Is No Shortage In Poverty

White House officials took to Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax to let viewers know while there is a shortage in oxygen, there is an abundance of poverty. In fact, the Strategic Reserve of Poverty (SRP) has never been higher. Secretary of Penury Andrew Canard said, “We have so much, I’m personally worried that if we release too much of it then the price of poverty will plummet.”

A snap poll of Trump supporters shows they are celebrating the news. As long as black people are worse off than they are, then things can’t be that bad.

American oligarchs are realizing there are issues that have to be resolved. That’s why they are offering tax cuts to those patients who can’t get oxygen.

How Bad Is It?

It’s so bad this satirical article could be true.

In related news, Joe Biden is afraid of being assassinated by the Secret Service. 

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...