A new study by evangelical researchers proves that atheists just want to sin. Not only do the godless want to sin, but they hate God, too. Atheists knowingly refuse the grace of God due to their love of logic, supporting a healthy social safety net, and putting their families before the Almighty.
Professor Andrew Canard of the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT) was in charge of the research team. Professor Canard has a long history of studying atheists and the damnation they bring upon themselves and others. Studies of his include Atheists Block God’s Blessings, Jordan Peterson Fans Are Mentally Ill, and The Brain’s Antichrist Center Discovered.
The scholarly paper Atheists Just Want To Sin was recently published in the Journal of Evangelical Science. Professor Canard’s team studied 1 self-identified atheist. His name is Jim. “To the untrained eye Jim looks like a wholesome member of society,” Professor Canard noted. “But he is up to his Adam’s apple in sin.”
After a two-hour interview with Jim, the data spoke for itself.
- At no point did he say gay marriage was evil.
- When questioned if he loved God more than his Mum, he said a resounding “No.”
- When given the chance to use an early ballot and vote for Donald Trump for President in 2024 he said, “This is a joke, right?”
- Concerning online porn, he quipped, “There are two sorts of people in the world. Those who use online porn and those who lie about using online porn.”
- When asked if he hated God, Jim stated, “I hate God as much as I hate Thanos.”
Professor Canard hopes the new research shows the truly toxic nature of atheism. Friends and family of atheists are urged to tell them they are praying for them. Over and over and over and over again.