Washington DC – The White House today announced a new line of Trump brand action features, and the first one is Trump himself featuring Trumpian genitalia.
Adding a scrotum and phallus to a doll may seem to be an odd choice, but many Republicans believe this is just another mind game the President is playing on Democrats and other enemies of the state. “Trump loves to insult the competition before he sits down and negotiates with them,” Senator Andrew Canard (R-Freedonia) stated. “I’ve heard rumors the new Chinese president doll isn’t going to have any genitalia. That should lower the chances of a trade war. Big time.”
White House sources state other action figures based on the administration with feature scrotums and penises. They just won’t be as big as President Trump’s. Will the Sarah Huckabee Sanders figure feature a man’s three-piece suit? No one except President Trump knows for sure. “He’s still focused on the walrus mustache on Bolton’s doll,” reported one anonymous source.
Democrats are up in arms in what’s being called Doll-gate. Many Democratic lawmakers believe they should just ignore the troll. However, others think Troll-Trump and his brand of bizarre action figures must be stopped at all costs. Those Democrats are mobilizing and creating their own brand of dolls. No one knows what they will look like, but experts project they won’t do as well as many hope in the midterm elections.
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017
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