Holy fuck. Or maybe I should say holy flock?
Ohio may soon illegalize bestiality.
This post could be one of the reasons why I like writing fake news articles, the real ones are scary. I just read this from The Guardian ‘A great victory for animals’: bestiality may finally be outlawed in Ohio.
Before I get into the piece, I want to say I did a quick search to make sure this wasn’t a fake story. The Guardian is a dependable source, but major news networks have been fooled before. This story seems legit. Time Magazine backs it up.
Let’s head back to The Guardian.
Ohio has moved one step closer to outlawing bestiality after a bill banning sexual abuse of animals passed the state legislature.
Good for them. I mean they must be the most backward state in the union regarding this matter, right?
It is currently legal to have sex with animals in nine US states, plus Washington DC
Nine states and the nation’s capitol? Jesus Christ, how did we get to the Moon? On the other hand, the past election results make a lot more sense.
John Kasich, Ohio’s governor, will now decide whether to sign the bill, which also prohibits the sale of animals for sex.
Wait. What? There is an underground market for sex-animals? No! No! No!
The bill prohibits a person from “sexual conduct” with an animal, but also targets what Lassiter described as “organized sex rings”.
Whatever you do, don’t think this can’t get any worse.
You thought it, didn’t you?
“There are people out there who train animals for sex,” she said. “You can give them your dog and they will train your dog to have sex with a human and send it back to you. And they get paid for it.
Well, that’s the genius of American capitalism right there.
Governor Kasich can kill the bill if he vetos it. Even if he doesn’t sign the thing it goes into law.
If nothing else, this makes my porn habit seem healthy.
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