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Boston, MA – Five students at St. Mary’s High School were expelled due to their insistence on saying ‘under Satan’ during the morning recitation of the pledge of allegiance. This small Catholic school of 325 students says it doesn’t regret its move since “religious liberty isn’t the Catholic Church’s business.”

Under Satan Or Under God?

Every school day starts with morning announcements and the pledge. Students stand and state it out loud with their right hands over their hearts.

The ritual never was popular among some kids. Andy “Anarchist” Canard is 16-years-old and was the initial troublemaker who convinced his friends to make the stand against what he considers indoctrination and fascism. “I’m pledging allegiance to the flag? To the republic that serves the 1%?” he said. “And coercing kids to say ‘under God’ is a clear violation of the Establishment Clause of the Constitution. I say ‘Hail Satan.'”

School officials said they may have allowed the five students to stay in school if they kept their opinions to themselves and sat out the pledge. However, when all five stood on their chairs and said “under Satan” expulsion was the only reasonable course.


The five juniors are reported to be happy with going to public school. Even though they recognize the quality of their education may not be as good, they all believe they made the right choice.

Their parents aren’t as happy as the kids are with the recent turn of events. While none of them are ecstatic with the choices their children made, there is a recognition that this is what happens when Jesuits teach students to think for themselves.  Andy Canard’s father said, “A good Catholic education made many a nonbeliever.”

St. Mary’s High School is vowing to clamp down on freethinkers. There are rumors that the principal and administration are planning to use pious kids as secret informants against future rabble-rousers. If any student looks like they’re going to cause trouble then teachers plan to hold a secret tribunal against the accused and pass judgment. “It sounds like a witch trial,” said one anonymous teacher, “because it kinda, sorta is.”

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...

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