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Far-right Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene warned hundreds of supporters that, “Paper straws are replacing white people Americans.”

She was speaking at the Nathan Bedford Forrest County Fair. Many in the crowd commented they came to enjoy the pig races as well as hear what Greene had to say.

Greene, who represents Georgia’s 14th district, is running for re-election against Democrat challenger Marcus Flowers. And even though 538 Politics gives Greene over a 99% chance of holding the seat, she seems intent on dialing up the QAnon-related rhetoric.

First they came for the plastic straws. After that they won’t let you say you’re white.

Marjorie Taylor Greene

The Great Replacement Theory is a common talking point for MAGA politicians. But what is the theory?

This paranoid far-right fiction holds that white European populations are being systematically replaced by non-white people through the efforts of a shadowy cabal of Jews/elites/Democrats.  The most common alleged means is mass immigration, though different variations feature the elites encouraging low birthrates, abortion, interracial marriage and homosexuality, all to end the domination of the white race and render them a minority in “their own lands.” 


GOP allies of Greene are supporting her controversial statements. MAGA megachurch televangelist and Trump ally Reverend Paula White is on the record saying she believes “Jesus wants us to use plastic straws. After all, didn’t He give us dominion over the Earth? That includes straws.”

The President of the Paper Straws of America Organization (PSAO) Andrew Canard is quick to point out that paper straws are not, in fact, the tools of the Devil. PSAO released a statement outlining the group’s dedication to Judeo-Christian morals.

Here is an overview of the main points from the PSAO document.

  • We only use trees that have dedicated themselves to Christ to make up the paper for our products.
  • Every single factory offers its employees a Chik-fil-A supersaver card.
  • Each straw has a tiny Bible pro-Republican verse inscribed on it.

The Metal Straw Makers of America (MSMA) have yet to comment on the situation.

In related news, Florida to teach ‘crucifractions’ in public schools

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...

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