Reading Time: 2 minutes


Washington DC – Hurricane Michael is approaching America’s Gulf Coast. President Trump is blasting NATO because the military alliance is “just sitting back and watching us get clobbered.”

CNN reports Hurricane Michael isn’t losing any strength as it approaches the United States of America. If anything, the storm is gaining in strength:

Michael underwent a period of “rapid intensification” from mid-day Sunday to mid-day Monday, growing from a tropical storm with sustained winds of 40 mph to a Category 1 hurricane with sustained winds of 75 mph.

President Trump Puts NATO On Blast

President Trump tweeted his frustration to the world.

Hurricane Michael is getting stronger and our useless European allies are eating fondue,. Disgusting! We protect them from the United States and they don’t lift a finger to help us carpet bomb the Caribbean and destroy this threat. Double Disgusting!

NATO Responds

NATO members met to deal with the escalating rhetoric of President Trump. Of course, the United States was not invited to the get together. Sources report the representatives of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization met in the basement of London’s great eatery Bangers and Mash. “This is how we meet when we have to do serious business,” General Andrew Canard of France stated. “We never get anything done when the Americans are around.”

After a two hour discussion there was a vote determining the best course of action. The group wrote a strongly worded letter to the United States stating hurricanes and their storm surges are just going to get stronger due to man-made climate change. They also suggested Florida getting swallowed by the ocean could be the best thing to happen to civilization since the Renaissance.

Evangelical Leaders See An Opening

With the increase in the intensity and frequency of natural disasters, Christian fundamentalists see opportunities to grow their flocks and their bank accounts.

One anonymous megachurch minister had this to say:

Hurricane Michael is going to destroy infrastructure. That means schools, roads, and hospitals. When things get bad, people turn to the faith of their fathers. You may say Michael is a Category 1 hurricane. I think Hurricane Michael is a Category 5 gift from God.

Whatever the final toll is from Hurricane Michael, every expert believes the Trump administration is sure to make matters worse.

Avatar photo

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...