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Washington DC – President Trump signed an executive order today giving himself a second birthday. He was actually born on June 14, 1946. His second day of celebration is officially December 25th, Christmas.

The Reason For The Season

White House sources report President Trump recently found out the Queen of England has two birthdays. One is the day of her birth and the other is a state event. While the former is more of a private celebration, the latter is a public event complete with a parade.

CNN reports how the two birthday system started for the British monarch.

The tradition is believed to have started with the party-loving King George II in 1748. That is the year that Britain’s annual Trooping the Colour celebration was first associated with the sovereign’s birthday. George’s real birthday was in November, when British weather is often far from ideal

Trooping the Colour — a military parade in London — previously existed as a standalone event. It was officially and permanently re-purposed as a birthday celebration after George III became King in 1760.
Edward VII, who succeeded Queen Victoria and ruled the United Kingdom through the first decade of the 20th century, is believed to have been the first monarch to receive the annual salute in person.

But On Christmas?

President Trump stated he wanted the public celebration on the day of Jesus’ birth.

“Jesus was the savior of America,” Trump stated. “His journey to America on the Mayflower paved the way. It’s only fitting that Savior Donald Trump has a birthday on December 25th.”

Evangelicals are ecstatic about this unexpected turn of events. Many are looking forward to sending President Trump Christmas and birthday presents.

“It’s what Jesus wants,” one anonymous Trump supporter said.

In related news, the World Health Organization named a mental disorder after Trump.


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...

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