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President Donald J. Trump released a statement today announcing he is suing the fact-checking website Snopes for millions. The legal paperwork has already been filed, and a cadre of Trump-branded lawyers are ready to attack.

Snopes is the Enemy of the American People

The President is charging Snopes with spreading fake news by utilizing “reality-based facts.” The statement goes on to give several examples of Snopes deliberately undermining the public confidence the people have in the Trump administration. These examples include but are not limited to: Vice President Mike Pence is not heading the Department of Anti-Witchcraft, President Trump is not a Flat Earther, and that President Trump is not planning to live in another country if Congress and the courts do not do what he says.

“The President and his administration have been very straightforward with the American people about policy positions,” stated the Secretary of ZZ Top Andrew Canard. “During the election, the President vowed his eternal honour to support the flat earth paradigm, strike down witches wherever they may be, and tell the other two branches of government to get their act together or else. Snopes is deliberately debunking these stories that have no bunk in them whatsoever.”

Defenders of Alternative Facts

Alt-right media may not always defend President Trump, but they consistently hate facts, peer-reviewed studies, and love Russian nesting dolls. A chorus of voices is taking this opportunity to attack Snopes. Bratbart News unleashed a broadside of editorials condemning Snopes and the frontal lobes of the brain where executive functions like fact checking are carried out.  Bratbart is also lauding the lower, reptilian brain where the urges to buy scratch tickets, vote against your own economic interest, and sending money to that preacher-man on TV are centered.

Snopes on the Defensive

The team at Snopes have not responded to the legal attack by the President of the United States. Anonymous sources whisper that fact checking the American political scene may have to be outsourced to places like Russia where at least there are no pretensions of a free press. If that does happen, then the only offices of Snopes left open in the US will be to explain the differences between DC and Marvel movies to their respective comic books.

 

 

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Here is a thing you can buy. The thing comes in shirts and hoodies, too.

 

 


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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...