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Have you ever been Jesusplained?

Jesusplaining is similar to mansplaining and both are rampant in the United States of America.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines mansplaining as to explain something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic.

Jordan Peterson loves to Jesusplain to atheists that they really believe in God.

Andrew Hall

Jesusplaining is to explain to an atheist in a condescending way that assumes they have no knowledge about the topic.

Many evangelical Christians love Jesusplaining. It’s a strategy they use to gaslight skeptics. Their reasoning is that if an atheist starts to doubt the scientific method and their own lived experience, then perhaps the unbeliever will turn that frown upside down and become a follower of Christ.

Here’s a quick test to see if you’ve been Jesusplained! Read each ludicrous statement. You get one point if you’ve ever had to put up with it.

You were never really a Christian.

You’re just angry at your mom and me.

a woman

You just want to sin.

The Catholic clergy has the same percentage of pedophiles as the general population.

Dad

There’s no conflict between the scientific method and faith.

Religious freedom means Christians are free to tell you what to do.

an angry man

God loves everyone — even the ones He’s torturing forever in Hell.

We’re not gay. We’re brothers in Christ.

You can’t be moral if you don’t believe in God.

an older man

The second commandment and the second amendment say the exact same thing.

Results

10 points: Congratulations! You’ve suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous idiocy and lived to tell the tale.

7-9 points: Wow, what an accomplishment! But if you want to achieve all ten points, then you need to spend more time in YouTube comment sections.

4-6 points: You probably grew up in an atheist home and led a happy life. No worries! It’s only a matter of time before evangelicals tell you their “good” news.

1-3 points: I’m envious. How’d you do it? Is there some sort of app that blocks Jesusplainers?

0 points: You haven’t been born yet and are happily in the womb.

In related news, the NRA believes flying flags at half-staff after mass shootings is unpatriotic.

*All photos courtesy of Unsplash.com.

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...