Reading Time: 2 minutes
golf
This Republican white gerrymandered district may soon be a distant memory.

Republican America – #WhiteDistrictsMatter is a campaign slogan that is increasingly popular among predominantly white gerrymandered districts in Republican America. With the recent setbacks in Republican-sponsored voter ID laws, white gerrymandered districts are fearing that they are facing an extinction event of dinosaur-like proportions.

“It’s  against my deeply held beliefs that macroevolution can occur and every single God fearing artificially created white voting district will be wiped off  the face of the earth,” stated Chip, a district in North Carolina. “But it doesn’t look good.”

Experts in national politics take note that the Republican strategy of suppressing minority voters have been dealt a series of body blows by federal judges. Voter ID laws in Kansas, North Dakota, and North Carolina have been curtailed. “Those laws were like hot houses, and they were nourishing these voting districts,” stated Professor Andrew Canard. “Without those laws, good ideas might be able to sway state and national policies.”

The coalition of racist, misogynist, greedy, and faith-based superstitious groups that make up #WhiteDistrictsMatter isn’t taking all that bad news lying down. Instead of broadening the base of the GOP to include non-bitter white men, #WhiteDistrictsMatter is reaching out to #BlueLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter to create a super hashtag of #MakingAmericaGreatAgain.

“We’re taking the country back from the poor, the discriminated, and anyone else we screwed over in the past 200 or so years,” proclaimed #MakingAmericaGreatAgain spokesperson and Republican candidate for President Donald J. Trump. “If they don’t like it, they will end up on reservations with the injuns.”

Many Republicans look at #MakingAmericaGreatAgain with fear and apprehension. Those in the GOP establishment are afraid that the hate filled rhetoric they have been vomiting onto the citizenry for decades may prove to have some negative effects after all.  “We wanted people to be angry and scared, but not super-duper angry and scared,” explained an anonymous GOP insider.

It is generally acknowledged that this election may just kill off most Republican gerrymandered districts. True believers in white power cling onto the hope that traditionally backward states don’t need gerrymandering and will still be stuck in the 1950’s even after the election.

 

*This Poe was inspired by the NPR article As November Approaches, Courts Deal Series Of Blows To Voter ID Laws

Stay in touch! Like Laughing in Disbelief on Facebook:

Avatar photo

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...