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Juneau, Alaska – Conservative MAGA darling Sarah Palin lost a special election for The Last Frontier state’s only representative.

Ms. Palin’s loss comes at the hands of Democratic candidate Ranked Choice Voting, known to her fans as The Notorious RCV. This was Notorious’ first time on the ballot.

This is a win for democracy, and that means it’s a defeat for MAGAs.

the notorious RCV

This special election is due to the death of 88-year-old Representative Don Young. The Notorious RCV will serve out the last few months of his term and will face another election in November for a full two-year term. And, yes, RCV will be facing Sarah Palin once again.

“I don’t know what November will bring,” RCV said, “but I’ve heard some fans are already making t-shirts saying The Notorious RCV strikes again.”

Professor Andrew Canard teaches political science at Miskatonic University. He believes there are many Republican voters who don’t like Ms. Palin because she ended her term as Governor early to become a conservative pundit. “In May 59% of likely voters in the special election had a negative opinion of her. It’s no wonder why many Republicans didn’t put her down as their second choice in this election.”

Many of Palin’s supporters are crying fowl at Professor Canard’s analysis. They are blaming the complicated nature of the new ranked-choice voting system (no relation to The Notorious RCV). The new system voters approved in 2020 gives people a greater choice and a greater voice on who leads them.

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“Why is there math on the ballot!” one angry Palin supporter yelled at a voting booth. “You’re taking away my freedom!”

Poll officials reported several angered Republicans shot their ballots multiple times.

In related news, Jesus rescinds Marjorie Taylor Greene’s forgiveness.


This satirical article is dedicated to the winner of last night’s special election Democrat Mary Peltola

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Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...