Boston MA – Members of The Satanic Mosque (TSM) re-enacted the biblical Great Flood on the grounds of the Massachusetts State House early on Christmas Day. “Christians have their live nativity. We thought we should show the world what the God of the Bible is really all about,” stated TSM Chapter Head Asmodeus Canard.
Known for their headline grabbing acts of defiance against Christianity encroaching into politics, the Great Flood re-enactment is the group’s most ambitious project yet. And while FOX News detractors will say TSM was hurling live babies into the water, Asmodeus Canard states they spent lot of their budget on Baby Alive Face dolls. “We needed dolls that look like babies. They also needed to cry even in water. That was expensive,” he explained.
Local members of TSM played Noah and his family. They cheered at how the LORD above was passing a watery judgment on children, the elderly, and disabled. However, it wasn’t all fun and games. Many TSM members stated afterward they were physically sick from acting in the traditional Christian story. Some went to Mass General Hospital afterwards, complaining of stomach ailments and headaches. “That’s what the Bible does to people,” remarked one TSM member.
A smattering of area Catholics came to celebrate the nativity scene on Boston Commons. When they saw TSM exercising their religious liberty, the Catholics became incensed. “Everyone knows religious liberty is only for Christians,” one anonymous member of the pedophile-church said. “I’m going to call my favorite AM talk radio station and yell a bunch of words that don’t make sense.”
Other Satanic groups are rushing to say No, we’re not those Satanists. One devilish church wants you to know they’re the real Satanists, while a demonic temple is wondering why they didn’t think of a live Great Flood re-enactment in the first place.
TSM isn’t saying what they have planned for next year’s Christmas celebration. Sources in the organization are whispering it could be based on the Book of Revelation.
Andrew Hall is the author of Laughing in Disbelief. Besides writing a blog, co-hosting the Naked Diner, he wrote two books, Vampires, Lovers, and Other Strangers and God’s Diary: January 2017 Andrew is reading through the Bible and making videos about his journey on YouTube. He is a talented stand-up comedian. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook