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This week’s scientific horoscope features nursery rhymes as well as nuggets of peer-reviewed wisdom. It’s science news AND fun!

Pisces

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Someone pretty hawt will say, “I’m into you.” It’s still winter but things will get steamy! And BTW, this new method of obtaining geothermal energy may someday heat your hawt water.

image by @worachatsodsri

Aries

Early to bed and early to rise, may make you healthy and wise. Health is wealth! And this T-cell therapy may just cure a loved one’s leukemia someday.

image by @fildum

Taurus

Hickory Dickory Dock, you will feel like the mouse that ran up a watery clock. The clock will strike one and you’ll try to run, but fleeing from climate change is difficult. This study shows sea-level rise may go up by 12 inches by 2050.

image by @pascalvendel

Leo

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. They both fell down and found out this Diapherodes gigantea is half female and half male.

image by @moll51

Cancer

Your coworker Humpty Dumpty will sit on a wall. He will have a great fall. You will want to put his pieces together again. Maybe using numbat DNA will help out?

image by @m_weber

Virgo

Three blind mice had their tails cut off by the farmer’s wife and they still chased her down. This is a time to be resilient! Take a page from the playbook of these wily mosquitoes.

image by @version2beta

Libra

The boy who cried “Wolf!” didn’t realize the effects of his causes. This week you will learn an important lesson on unintended consequences just like the Chinese did when after a COVID shutdown.

image by @saltsup

Scorpio

There was a middle-aged woman who never lived in a shoe, and thanks to a medical miracle she was cured of HIV.

image by @enginakyurt

Sagittarius

Some people say Mary, Mary was quite contrary. The fact is, Mary understands how science works and likes to quote Neil deGrasse Tyson.

image by @sadie_esch_laurent

Capricorn

Silence is golden, but your words of wisdom will be worth beyond measure this week. Don’t be shy. Speak up! Be like these fish who have something to say.

image by @kidka

Aquarius

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all? People will note how timeless your style is this week! Speaking of time, astronomers face many challenges in determining the age of stars.

image by @krisroller

Andrew Hall escaped a childhood of religious indoctrination and is now a non-miserable human being. He's made millions of people laugh as well as angry. (He hopes he's made the right people annoyed.) Targets...